2011
30MAY
L.A. Noire
Title: L.A. Noire
Platform: 360/PS3
Genre: Adventure/Police Procedural
Believe it or not this is not the ugliest suit in the game
I've had my eye on L.A. Noire for a while. I'm not a huge fan of, well, anything Rockstar has put out since Vice City. The games all blurred together and felt samey after that. However, a pulpy noire experience with promises of unique gameplay made me perk up right away. So, is it worth the hype?
Nnnnno...
It's an intrepid project, for sure. The policing segments play a lot like Phoenix Wright segments, with some grit thrown in for good measure. Unfortunately, there are two big problems with the game: (a) these investigative segments, and (b) everything else.
Much like Phoenix Wright, there are some incredible leaps of logic that need to be made when pressing someone over a lie. You're given tons of unnecessary evidence that gets in the way, and on many occasions you'll be presented with a lie where several pieces would seem to fit, but there is only one "correct" piece. And unlike Phoenix Wright, you only get one chance - if you pick the wrong one, the game chides you and moves on. This gives it a somewhat interesting freeform feel where you may even end up busting the wrong person (and cases are replayable), but only getting one shot with the evidence is nonsensical and frustrating. You're supposed to be able to read a witness' "tells" to tell if he or she is lying, but without a real frame of reference (as you'll usually get maybe 2 or 3 questions in total with a person), it's hard to tell what's what from the outset, and even then, it wasn't always consistent. The clue-hunting boils down to wandering around listening for audio cues, then hammering on the X button. The game pads itself out by making 2/3 of stuff you can find be the most random shit that even the game itself tells you is irrelevant. And, as I said before, it seems like half of what you do find is for your own reference and just gets in the way with the game otherwise.
If the logic were a little more forgiving and polished, then it could be great. Unfortunately, the other half of the game is awful third-rate Grand Theft Auto-inspired shit that feels tacked-on solely because Rockstar's name is on it. The driving is insipid, floaty, and actually punishes you for collateral damage. You can avoid most of this by blaring that godawful siren the entire time, which grates like you wouldn't believe. Brawling is extremely easy - the only challenge is remembering which button puts you into a fighting stance to fight back. Shooting is half-assed; the cover system feels like it was rejected from the first Uncharted game. Lastly, the parkour-esque foot chases range from decent to hair-pulling, but are certainly no Assassin's Creed. That's my big issue with the game - practically every component of gameplay is yanked from another franchise where it was done far better.
The facial animations are much-lauded, and rightfully so - unfortunately, the rest of the graphics are first-gen at best. It's very jarring seeing the exceedingly detailed faces plastered on some janky Playstation 2 models. The graphical design itself has promise, but it leads to another issue - there is very little that's actually noire about the game. The world is colorful and mostly quiet, and the cases you pick up are pretty milquetoast-feeling. You're constantly reminded that you're the only honest cop in the city, but there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of this supposed corruption presented to you. The plot itself going on behind the scenes is astoundingly "ehhhh" too.
Maybe I'm missing something, but the way I figure it, the near-universal praise is solely hype-based. All in all, at least rent it and see if it's your thing. It feels too unpolished and misguided to warrant a purchase from me, though.
Platform: 360/PS3
Genre: Adventure/Police Procedural
Believe it or not this is not the ugliest suit in the game
I've had my eye on L.A. Noire for a while. I'm not a huge fan of, well, anything Rockstar has put out since Vice City. The games all blurred together and felt samey after that. However, a pulpy noire experience with promises of unique gameplay made me perk up right away. So, is it worth the hype?
Nnnnno...
It's an intrepid project, for sure. The policing segments play a lot like Phoenix Wright segments, with some grit thrown in for good measure. Unfortunately, there are two big problems with the game: (a) these investigative segments, and (b) everything else.
Much like Phoenix Wright, there are some incredible leaps of logic that need to be made when pressing someone over a lie. You're given tons of unnecessary evidence that gets in the way, and on many occasions you'll be presented with a lie where several pieces would seem to fit, but there is only one "correct" piece. And unlike Phoenix Wright, you only get one chance - if you pick the wrong one, the game chides you and moves on. This gives it a somewhat interesting freeform feel where you may even end up busting the wrong person (and cases are replayable), but only getting one shot with the evidence is nonsensical and frustrating. You're supposed to be able to read a witness' "tells" to tell if he or she is lying, but without a real frame of reference (as you'll usually get maybe 2 or 3 questions in total with a person), it's hard to tell what's what from the outset, and even then, it wasn't always consistent. The clue-hunting boils down to wandering around listening for audio cues, then hammering on the X button. The game pads itself out by making 2/3 of stuff you can find be the most random shit that even the game itself tells you is irrelevant. And, as I said before, it seems like half of what you do find is for your own reference and just gets in the way with the game otherwise.
If the logic were a little more forgiving and polished, then it could be great. Unfortunately, the other half of the game is awful third-rate Grand Theft Auto-inspired shit that feels tacked-on solely because Rockstar's name is on it. The driving is insipid, floaty, and actually punishes you for collateral damage. You can avoid most of this by blaring that godawful siren the entire time, which grates like you wouldn't believe. Brawling is extremely easy - the only challenge is remembering which button puts you into a fighting stance to fight back. Shooting is half-assed; the cover system feels like it was rejected from the first Uncharted game. Lastly, the parkour-esque foot chases range from decent to hair-pulling, but are certainly no Assassin's Creed. That's my big issue with the game - practically every component of gameplay is yanked from another franchise where it was done far better.
The facial animations are much-lauded, and rightfully so - unfortunately, the rest of the graphics are first-gen at best. It's very jarring seeing the exceedingly detailed faces plastered on some janky Playstation 2 models. The graphical design itself has promise, but it leads to another issue - there is very little that's actually noire about the game. The world is colorful and mostly quiet, and the cases you pick up are pretty milquetoast-feeling. You're constantly reminded that you're the only honest cop in the city, but there doesn't seem to be a whole lot of this supposed corruption presented to you. The plot itself going on behind the scenes is astoundingly "ehhhh" too.
Maybe I'm missing something, but the way I figure it, the near-universal praise is solely hype-based. All in all, at least rent it and see if it's your thing. It feels too unpolished and misguided to warrant a purchase from me, though.