2010
10JAN
Bayonetta
Title: Bayonetta
Platform: 360/PS3
Genre: Action
First, a disclaimer to get out of the way. I played the notoriously inferior PS3 version (ported from the 360 by Sega), and the complaints are not an exaggeration...the technical issues are bad. There is slowdown at the worst possible times, and even the pause menu has a loading screen. It's well over a minute to get back to playing after dying, and in a game like this that's absolutely unforgivable. Fuck you, Sega. You ruined your own IPs, now you gotta ruin everyone else's?
So, if you want a game that cranks the crazy up to eleven, you can't do much better than this. The cut scenes are stylish, insane, and well worth a watch, despite the legions of nerds saying otherwise. There's a story, but it's mostly told in choppy flashbacks that require much mental gap-filling. But forget all that; this is an action game, and the action is splendid. It's frantic, but the sheer number of combos available isn't as daunting as it first seems; you can just as easily pick a few that work for you and stick with those. The dodge-bullet time mechanic is a nice touch, but is a bit inconsistent in what enemies it works on and which ones it does not.
The big, big problem is everything else. The stages that were thrown in for "variation" are mostly terrible and lack the polish of the action/exploration stages. The platforming is extremely hit-or-miss, and the wall-walking gimmick gets old fast. And the quick time events...ohhhh mercy. This is literally the worst implementation of this already abhorrent trend I have ever experienced. Failure usually means instant death, and you know what that means...loading screens! In addition, while the button mashing minigames for the "torture" and "climax" (don't ask) moves make sense, the nonsense you have to go through in order to create items is absolutely unnecessary. In fact, the menus in general are a complete chore to navigate. The point of a user interface is ease of accessibility. Unacceptable.
All in all, pass on the PS3 version altogether if you're a big impatient gorilla like me. If you want to play on the 360, be sure your "stupid bullshit" quota is high enough before you invest, and even then it might not be worth more than a rental considering its short length unless you really get in to it and feel like grinding out halos for the rest of eternity.
Platform: 360/PS3
Genre: Action
First, a disclaimer to get out of the way. I played the notoriously inferior PS3 version (ported from the 360 by Sega), and the complaints are not an exaggeration...the technical issues are bad. There is slowdown at the worst possible times, and even the pause menu has a loading screen. It's well over a minute to get back to playing after dying, and in a game like this that's absolutely unforgivable. Fuck you, Sega. You ruined your own IPs, now you gotta ruin everyone else's?
So, if you want a game that cranks the crazy up to eleven, you can't do much better than this. The cut scenes are stylish, insane, and well worth a watch, despite the legions of nerds saying otherwise. There's a story, but it's mostly told in choppy flashbacks that require much mental gap-filling. But forget all that; this is an action game, and the action is splendid. It's frantic, but the sheer number of combos available isn't as daunting as it first seems; you can just as easily pick a few that work for you and stick with those. The dodge-bullet time mechanic is a nice touch, but is a bit inconsistent in what enemies it works on and which ones it does not.
The big, big problem is everything else. The stages that were thrown in for "variation" are mostly terrible and lack the polish of the action/exploration stages. The platforming is extremely hit-or-miss, and the wall-walking gimmick gets old fast. And the quick time events...ohhhh mercy. This is literally the worst implementation of this already abhorrent trend I have ever experienced. Failure usually means instant death, and you know what that means...loading screens! In addition, while the button mashing minigames for the "torture" and "climax" (don't ask) moves make sense, the nonsense you have to go through in order to create items is absolutely unnecessary. In fact, the menus in general are a complete chore to navigate. The point of a user interface is ease of accessibility. Unacceptable.
All in all, pass on the PS3 version altogether if you're a big impatient gorilla like me. If you want to play on the 360, be sure your "stupid bullshit" quota is high enough before you invest, and even then it might not be worth more than a rental considering its short length unless you really get in to it and feel like grinding out halos for the rest of eternity.